Curvy Girls Can't Dance by Kelsie Stelting

Author:Kelsie Stelting
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kelsie Stelting Creative LLC

Thirty-Seven

Saturday morning, I was in my room, packing my bag for qualifiers and the after-party when Mom came in. Thankfully, Faith had my dance costume, so Mom didn’t have a sightline to anything other than my toiletry kit and an extra outfit.

“What are you doing?” she asked, seeming confused.

“I’m staying at Des’s tonight. Remember?”

“Oh.” She seemed disappointed. “I must have missed it with all my new client work.” She came and sat on the edge of my bed. “I was hoping to spend some time with you and Ted. Maybe go to the apple orchard and have some cider.”

My heart wrenched. That actually sounded like fun—doing something with Mom that didn’t involve dance or school. “Rain check?”

Sadly, she nodded.

“Maybe you can go with Ted?” I suggested. “Have some fun together just the two of you?”

She seemed to brighten slightly at the idea, but then said, “It won’t be the same without you.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing,” I replied. At her confused look, I finished zipping my bag and went to sit by her, resting my head on her shoulder. “Do you think...maybe if you wouldn’t have been so preoccupied with dance that Dad wouldn’t have...” I couldn’t finish the sentence. Not over the lump forming in my throat.

The guilty feeling I always carried with me seemed larger than ever.

“Oh honey.” She stroked the loose tresses away from my face. “You know as a parent, you’re always trying to protect your kids.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Sometimes you even try to protect them from the truth.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Your father’s...infidelity started well before our marriage. Before you were born.”

Her words doused me like ice water, and I jerked away from her shoulder, stunned. As I tried to take in exactly what she was saying, my mouth fell open and closed. Was she really telling me that in their fifteen years of marriage, he’d never once been faithful? And that she’d stayed through it all?

Mom scooted forward on the bed as if to come closer, but I shook my head. How could she have stayed with a cheater? And if she’d known this all along, why had she let me be so surprised by the divorce?

“Why?” I demanded. “Why would you stay with someone who cheated on you?”

Her features steeped in compassion. For me. For herself. “Honey, when you don’t feel good about yourself, you’ll accept a lot of things you shouldn’t.”

Her words echoed Des’s from the hot tub, but I still didn’t understand. “Why wouldn’t you feel good about yourself?” My mom was the kind of beautiful I hoped to be at her age. Curvaceous, always well put together, and a devoted mom. How had I never known she struggled with self-esteem?

She smiled tearfully and shook her head. “My mom was a beautiful woman. I was always in her shadow, and she knew it. I was a burden to her, never living up to her expectations. I always promised myself I would do anything for my child, be there for her like my mom never was for me.

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